I find it amazing, no its insane, that people live together, get married or spend whatever ridiculous amount of money to put a life together and then neglect it and let it rot away. And what do they do, well they meet another person, build a life again and let it all rot away again.
How do folks move from happy to unhappy. Well how many times have you sat down with your spouse, in a calm manner, trying to communicate you have a problem and would like your spouse's help with a solution? How many times have they said "oh I see and will do " and your rump again hit the icy cold water of the toilet bowl at 1:00 a.m. surprise! And when you return storming to the bedroom, the blue water running down your legs on the off white carpet - switching on the light to locate a towel and new pj bottoms -- he yells "shut the light off --I'm sleeping." Well, here comes the neglect for again after he promised not to neglect your request again. And what does ongoing neglect cause the anger that causes you to grab the bull horn from under the bed - kept just in case of burglars - and yell into his hairy ears - well let's just say its an f bomb and wait until you want some help! And off you go to sleep unhappy again your wants neglected.
I am not just picking on pants because there is many a pant suit wearer that also signs on to help another but in the long run abandons that promise as we can see by the Mel Gibson melt down. Wonder what promise went bad there? I think it could be she promised sex on a daily basis and decided not to hold up her end of his bargain.
But regardless what is wrong with people?? Why does everyone want to be so unhappy?? Each of us will eventually have a problem and will need help from our spouse to get a solution. Could be Mr. Can't Put The Toilet Seat down has a St. Bernard sick again and he wants the Mrs. to help load Bernie into the car. Well too bad sucker -- you have no help deposits left in your bank account to draw on - you neglected her needs. You are bankrupt! And he then becomes unhappy totally forgetting just last night she and the toilet bowl were kissing cousins for the 100th time.
And what is partnership? Well its supposed to be a balance system of helps from your spouse -- you help me when I need it -- I help you and we stay happy. But when one side of the fence loves to make withdrawals and neglects to make deposits, we have love bankruptcy. Basically people who could be happy together, terribly unhappy again, and again and again until they kill the love they once had.
And of course no one takes this deposit/withdrawal system seriously until they find some other guy in bed with the wife. And be dammed if he didn't put the toilet seat down, he looks wonderfully happy and by the look of the wife, she finally looks darn happy too. I guess the real word for HEAVEN is -- COOPERATION! Regardless he made the deposit and he is getting a good return on that little investment.
And so it is silly but true. It isn't the big things in life that cause resentment or unhappiness, its the little things of neglect that kill the love and create unhappiness? Are you a making your requested deposits or just love the withdrawal process??
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Isn't it Romantic???
What's with the tattoo craze??? Turn on the t.v. set and see the unmarried, unstable, the underdeveloped individuals with tattoos of their boyfriend or girlfriend's name, in lovely black ink, letters of 2" high emblazoned across their shoulder, their pectoral muscle or here's the best across the throat. Yep get up close -- looks like it was a botched suicide, but it wasn't -- the jerk let a tattoo artist embroider his girlfriend's name on his throat in Script font, bolded and Italicized.
Now isn't that romantic -- just like branding your cow. Well, have you ever watched Maury when relationships turn from lust to the I HATE HER GUTS SHOW, not just looking for the Baby's Daddy, but now money to have laser surgery.
Can you just imagine ladies -- divorced and having the sot's name staring back at you each and every day of of your life. Yep when the boobs start sagging, the jerk starts heading south -- do you really want that happening?
And what about the cost? These people look like they haven't got rent money, but put enough artwork on their body equivalent to purchasing Andy Warhol's Campbell Soup picture. Now they can't find the money for removal costs!
And let's talk about the new love -- isn't that what you want to see as you lie next to your girlfriend -- Darnell's name on her shoulder and, get this, his portrait the size of your remote control staring back at you. Doesn't that just get you in the mood to propose?
One guy said to the girlfriend, the tattoo goes or I go. Last time I saw her she was holding a scrap of cardboard standing on an island of four lane traffic begging for change - claiming she needed help. Needed help alright -- help to get that dam tattoo off her arm or she wasn't walking down any aisle in the near future.
Now tell me isn't this a painful procedure -- how drunk or drugged out does someone have to be to get a tattoo on your throat, your breast, your pecs, and yes, on places that only your doctor gets to see.
So with all relationships having a 1-3 yr. lust cycle where you somehow stay in a comatose state oblivious to the fact Mr./Mrs. Wonderful has track marks on their arm, reports to their Parole officer every Friday, and is doing 6 months of community service, shouldn't we pause on the Tatts? And that's that!
Now isn't that romantic -- just like branding your cow. Well, have you ever watched Maury when relationships turn from lust to the I HATE HER GUTS SHOW, not just looking for the Baby's Daddy, but now money to have laser surgery.
Can you just imagine ladies -- divorced and having the sot's name staring back at you each and every day of of your life. Yep when the boobs start sagging, the jerk starts heading south -- do you really want that happening?
And what about the cost? These people look like they haven't got rent money, but put enough artwork on their body equivalent to purchasing Andy Warhol's Campbell Soup picture. Now they can't find the money for removal costs!
And let's talk about the new love -- isn't that what you want to see as you lie next to your girlfriend -- Darnell's name on her shoulder and, get this, his portrait the size of your remote control staring back at you. Doesn't that just get you in the mood to propose?
One guy said to the girlfriend, the tattoo goes or I go. Last time I saw her she was holding a scrap of cardboard standing on an island of four lane traffic begging for change - claiming she needed help. Needed help alright -- help to get that dam tattoo off her arm or she wasn't walking down any aisle in the near future.
Now tell me isn't this a painful procedure -- how drunk or drugged out does someone have to be to get a tattoo on your throat, your breast, your pecs, and yes, on places that only your doctor gets to see.
So with all relationships having a 1-3 yr. lust cycle where you somehow stay in a comatose state oblivious to the fact Mr./Mrs. Wonderful has track marks on their arm, reports to their Parole officer every Friday, and is doing 6 months of community service, shouldn't we pause on the Tatts? And that's that!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
SMOKING KILLS AND SO DOES DIVORCE
Do you not think we need a HERSTORY TEAROOM? I do. I think there should be a place for the about to be, or the lonely divorcees to go for a tea and a talk. The friends and family grow weary nor are they neutral. Unload the load so to speak -- not like Jesse James did. And lets hope America's sweetheart, Sandra Bullock is buying a pearl handle pistol right now and is using nectarine size prunes for target practice for her gorilla.
Anyhow we need a lady place, kind of like Cheers without a brainless, sex maniac behind the bar giving out drinks and retarded lets go bachelor manvice. Yep, a tea and a talk. Nothing better because SMOKING KILLS AND SO DOES DIVORCE. Divorce is on the rise and folks are dropping like flies.
To prove my point this week I stopped dead in my tracks to see a $1.00, beaded wool sweater blowing in the breeze on the sale racks of Giant Tiger. (come on ladies you can't even buy a muffin for a dollar) then remarked , " A SWEATER FOR A DOLLAR" and some woman passing by said "really."
Well, as you all know, conversation is like a good game of ping pong. I opened, she returned and I again served with " this would be a great Xmas gift for a daughter -- she would think she was really loved." The return "yes, but I'm already storing enough stuff for mine when she comes to Canada."
My return " yeah but its a sweater for a buck " and the hard drive slam of truth "I still need to cram in two chairs from Kitchener she bought off Kijiji and I just dread calling my ex husband for a favor to get them. " Well, we were off to the tea room for a tea and a talk with a lonely divorcee.
I believe every woman has a HERSTORY. A tragic love story. Why do I say that? Well I believe love is harsh. Hard to find, hard to sustain, hard to get over. Marriage, without work and instruction turns into Frustration and Misery, not Strength and Support as we believe. Its like the labour lie -- "labour that's like a bad period." It is as close to dying as I want to go. No the truth of marriage -- 50% divorce; 40% stay married; only 10% report having a happy life, loving marriage. That's research -- not mine. And many a woman or man believes the other is happy but if that were so, extra marital affairs would not be on the rise.
Anyhow, five hours and three teas later, the Giant Tiger Lady's love STORY had more pain than loosing five fingers in a buzz saw accident. It was a holocaust of three divorces, 2 kids alienated to punish her for leaving, poverty of leaving; a 30 year unrequited love that, if I wrote this down, would bring all of you to your knobby knees including me. It almost made my story look good. It was what should be written down in the books about marriage crazy with a how not to be happily married manual. And in due respect to this lady, she did the best she knew how and she was just another casualty of marriage don't know how.
That was Tuesday. On Wednesday, as I stood on my front lawn talking to a neighbour passing by, I was told my Go To Guy across the street had died in his sleep. Also her sister just found out her husband had a girlfriend and was leaving her. She too was entering Divorce Hell and not doing well.
As for my 77 year old Go To Guy's marriage -- he used to joke about when the wife was alive, he hid out in his back tool shed. He said " when I thought the storm blew over and I would throw my hat in the back door and ask if it was safe to come in." I wondered when he got to the other side was the wife waiting with a list including, why did you wear that tie with those socks at your funeral?
As for my neighbour, she was advising her sister to photo copy the RRSPs, Life Insurance, house documents and do not pass go, do not collect $200 but run to find a really good divorce lawyer stat. Whoa Nelly!
Anyhow, isn't our education system a sad state of affairs, that so much of our learning is wasted on career building (you heard me, wasted) and not on relationship building. We will see if Miss Bullock's personal life will affect her professional life. Again, another Cinderella fan or so she sounded on Oscar night.
Anyhow, as I sat across the table from this wiped out woman, I looked in the eyes of defeat and had nothing hopeful to say to 73, except, my mother found love at 84. I saw a glimmer of hope in the face of a three time marriage loser who admitted to me she came pretty close to suicide before Xmas.
I salute shows popping up like Marriage Ref and hopefully that will be a trend that will wipe out sad, lonely divorced eyes. A wife's stuffed, departed prize poodle glaring at you while you eat dinner is enough to drive man to the divorce lawyer or on the down low to a negotiable woman. I don't think all affairs are with single women. Little things in life don't mean much, but in marriage they do mean everything.
I for one wish all people would stop glorifying the word divorce -- stop putting it as an option on the marital table and let's have more marriage rehab and more reality shows promoting how to negotiate and eradicate the unhappy marriage if not for our sakes, but our kids. Elizabeth Taylor's divorce rate will probably be the norm for our offspring if we don't STOP THE MARITAL INSANITY.
Yes, it has become and been sold as our divine right to divorce, and some abused should, but what does that divorce really smell, taste, and sound like. It smells like Kraft dinner because after you pay the child support, spousal support, and your bills, Kraft dinner is your mainstay. It tastes like acid. Its the acid reflux you taste when you are stressing over having to call the ex and beg for the late spousal support cheque. The acid reflux when you know you have to sit at the hockey game, school play, kid's wedding with his fling of the month, nuzzling all over each other because the kids want you both there. And the sounds -- you cracking the child proof lid on the milk of magnesia bottle, or another bottle of wine to drown out the sadness. Its the bedroom door that slams often --its the yelling so loud the neighbours call 911 over the kids being dropped off at 11:00 on a school night for the 6th time -- its the sound of yelling because he has cancelled your vacation again. Its the sound of your screams in your pillow when you get the ridiculous lawyer's bill for $30,000 and your half of the house was $28,000 after your paid off the credit cards or the sounds of grieving of so many broken dreams.
Yep -- its not really the Marriage Ref show we need, but its a good start to monitor the selfishly married or preventing the selfish getting married. We don't need Dancing with the Stars as much as Trading Divorced Spaces. I know a divorced guy who just happily gave up his casa, than do marital repair for a remodel of a shack the size of my two car garage. He has a dumpster parked out front for his 400 sq. ft. party palace. However, one little glitch. I doubt he has enough moola for drywall and the guy's friends -- what wife lets her guy hang around with the divorced guys?
And so, high ho, high ho, its off to the personals he goes, with so little he knows, about how marriage goes, high ho, high ho!!
Anyhow we need a lady place, kind of like Cheers without a brainless, sex maniac behind the bar giving out drinks and retarded lets go bachelor manvice. Yep, a tea and a talk. Nothing better because SMOKING KILLS AND SO DOES DIVORCE. Divorce is on the rise and folks are dropping like flies.
To prove my point this week I stopped dead in my tracks to see a $1.00, beaded wool sweater blowing in the breeze on the sale racks of Giant Tiger. (come on ladies you can't even buy a muffin for a dollar) then remarked , " A SWEATER FOR A DOLLAR" and some woman passing by said "really."
Well, as you all know, conversation is like a good game of ping pong. I opened, she returned and I again served with " this would be a great Xmas gift for a daughter -- she would think she was really loved." The return "yes, but I'm already storing enough stuff for mine when she comes to Canada."
My return " yeah but its a sweater for a buck " and the hard drive slam of truth "I still need to cram in two chairs from Kitchener she bought off Kijiji and I just dread calling my ex husband for a favor to get them. " Well, we were off to the tea room for a tea and a talk with a lonely divorcee.
I believe every woman has a HERSTORY. A tragic love story. Why do I say that? Well I believe love is harsh. Hard to find, hard to sustain, hard to get over. Marriage, without work and instruction turns into Frustration and Misery, not Strength and Support as we believe. Its like the labour lie -- "labour that's like a bad period." It is as close to dying as I want to go. No the truth of marriage -- 50% divorce; 40% stay married; only 10% report having a happy life, loving marriage. That's research -- not mine. And many a woman or man believes the other is happy but if that were so, extra marital affairs would not be on the rise.
Anyhow, five hours and three teas later, the Giant Tiger Lady's love STORY had more pain than loosing five fingers in a buzz saw accident. It was a holocaust of three divorces, 2 kids alienated to punish her for leaving, poverty of leaving; a 30 year unrequited love that, if I wrote this down, would bring all of you to your knobby knees including me. It almost made my story look good. It was what should be written down in the books about marriage crazy with a how not to be happily married manual. And in due respect to this lady, she did the best she knew how and she was just another casualty of marriage don't know how.
That was Tuesday. On Wednesday, as I stood on my front lawn talking to a neighbour passing by, I was told my Go To Guy across the street had died in his sleep. Also her sister just found out her husband had a girlfriend and was leaving her. She too was entering Divorce Hell and not doing well.
As for my 77 year old Go To Guy's marriage -- he used to joke about when the wife was alive, he hid out in his back tool shed. He said " when I thought the storm blew over and I would throw my hat in the back door and ask if it was safe to come in." I wondered when he got to the other side was the wife waiting with a list including, why did you wear that tie with those socks at your funeral?
As for my neighbour, she was advising her sister to photo copy the RRSPs, Life Insurance, house documents and do not pass go, do not collect $200 but run to find a really good divorce lawyer stat. Whoa Nelly!
Anyhow, isn't our education system a sad state of affairs, that so much of our learning is wasted on career building (you heard me, wasted) and not on relationship building. We will see if Miss Bullock's personal life will affect her professional life. Again, another Cinderella fan or so she sounded on Oscar night.
Anyhow, as I sat across the table from this wiped out woman, I looked in the eyes of defeat and had nothing hopeful to say to 73, except, my mother found love at 84. I saw a glimmer of hope in the face of a three time marriage loser who admitted to me she came pretty close to suicide before Xmas.
I salute shows popping up like Marriage Ref and hopefully that will be a trend that will wipe out sad, lonely divorced eyes. A wife's stuffed, departed prize poodle glaring at you while you eat dinner is enough to drive man to the divorce lawyer or on the down low to a negotiable woman. I don't think all affairs are with single women. Little things in life don't mean much, but in marriage they do mean everything.
I for one wish all people would stop glorifying the word divorce -- stop putting it as an option on the marital table and let's have more marriage rehab and more reality shows promoting how to negotiate and eradicate the unhappy marriage if not for our sakes, but our kids. Elizabeth Taylor's divorce rate will probably be the norm for our offspring if we don't STOP THE MARITAL INSANITY.
Yes, it has become and been sold as our divine right to divorce, and some abused should, but what does that divorce really smell, taste, and sound like. It smells like Kraft dinner because after you pay the child support, spousal support, and your bills, Kraft dinner is your mainstay. It tastes like acid. Its the acid reflux you taste when you are stressing over having to call the ex and beg for the late spousal support cheque. The acid reflux when you know you have to sit at the hockey game, school play, kid's wedding with his fling of the month, nuzzling all over each other because the kids want you both there. And the sounds -- you cracking the child proof lid on the milk of magnesia bottle, or another bottle of wine to drown out the sadness. Its the bedroom door that slams often --its the yelling so loud the neighbours call 911 over the kids being dropped off at 11:00 on a school night for the 6th time -- its the sound of yelling because he has cancelled your vacation again. Its the sound of your screams in your pillow when you get the ridiculous lawyer's bill for $30,000 and your half of the house was $28,000 after your paid off the credit cards or the sounds of grieving of so many broken dreams.
Yep -- its not really the Marriage Ref show we need, but its a good start to monitor the selfishly married or preventing the selfish getting married. We don't need Dancing with the Stars as much as Trading Divorced Spaces. I know a divorced guy who just happily gave up his casa, than do marital repair for a remodel of a shack the size of my two car garage. He has a dumpster parked out front for his 400 sq. ft. party palace. However, one little glitch. I doubt he has enough moola for drywall and the guy's friends -- what wife lets her guy hang around with the divorced guys?
And so, high ho, high ho, its off to the personals he goes, with so little he knows, about how marriage goes, high ho, high ho!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Happily Unbridaled Again??
Well the start of 2010 and I launched that by going to the Bridal Show -- totally something I have never done before. Kind of funny to think of Divorcees flocking to Bridal shows but I'm sure there was a ton there. Between the rockin motor home out front decked out like a night club -- just missing John Travolta and a three piece white suit -- the three tier cakes surrounded in lights and belted in 3" of rhinestones, the chocolate cupcakes covered in dark chocolate and sprinkled with real gold dust, shizaam! What prizes can the world present to make this the day of days? And why wouldn't the marriage pale in comparison to this movie star event???
Well as this divorcee was standing there watching this parade of elegant products trying not to let divorcee madness ruin the dream theme -- snazzy, glam, elegant, well I was thinking about the Divorcees and should we not have representation? How about the UNBRIDALED SHOW. Humor is the medicine to help ease the event that changes ever aspect of your life. Often times it affects your sense of humor. Not being gender biased, the following is a good laugh for the day for all the gay Divorcees, soon to bes, and wannabes:
A 90 yr. old couple decided to get a divorce. The judge was shocked and said "you've been married 70 years and now you want a divorce? Why did you wait so long?" The couple said in unison "well we wanted to wait until all the kids were dead!"
A Woman's Perfect Breakfast:
You're sitting at the breakfast table....
You're son's picture is on the Box of Wheaties,
Your daughter's picture on the cover of Fortune,
Your boyfriend is on the cover of Playboy,
and your husband, is on the back of a milk carton!!!
Instead of getting married again, I am going to find a woman I don't like and just give her the car.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
35% of people who use the personal ads for dating are already married.
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
First Guy (Proudly) "my wife's an Angel!"
Second Guy "you're lucky -- my wife's still alive."
Why are hurricanes usually named for a woman? Because when they arrive they're wet and wild, but when they go they take the house and car.
For Sale -- Wedding Dress Size 12, worn only once by mistake!!
Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's worth it!!
Yea my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole.
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
And does that say enough -- DO WE NEED AN UNBRIDALED SHOW FOR GAY DIVORCEES???????
Well as this divorcee was standing there watching this parade of elegant products trying not to let divorcee madness ruin the dream theme -- snazzy, glam, elegant, well I was thinking about the Divorcees and should we not have representation? How about the UNBRIDALED SHOW. Humor is the medicine to help ease the event that changes ever aspect of your life. Often times it affects your sense of humor. Not being gender biased, the following is a good laugh for the day for all the gay Divorcees, soon to bes, and wannabes:
A 90 yr. old couple decided to get a divorce. The judge was shocked and said "you've been married 70 years and now you want a divorce? Why did you wait so long?" The couple said in unison "well we wanted to wait until all the kids were dead!"
A Woman's Perfect Breakfast:
You're sitting at the breakfast table....
You're son's picture is on the Box of Wheaties,
Your daughter's picture on the cover of Fortune,
Your boyfriend is on the cover of Playboy,
and your husband, is on the back of a milk carton!!!
Instead of getting married again, I am going to find a woman I don't like and just give her the car.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
35% of people who use the personal ads for dating are already married.
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.
First Guy (Proudly) "my wife's an Angel!"
Second Guy "you're lucky -- my wife's still alive."
Why are hurricanes usually named for a woman? Because when they arrive they're wet and wild, but when they go they take the house and car.
For Sale -- Wedding Dress Size 12, worn only once by mistake!!
Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's worth it!!
Yea my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we're incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's an asshole.
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
And does that say enough -- DO WE NEED AN UNBRIDALED SHOW FOR GAY DIVORCEES???????
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
SURROUND SELF WITH ENCOURAGERS
Simeon Ford, the proprietor of the Old Grand Union Hotel in New York said, "you don't need to know anything about a hotel to run one. You just open up and the customers tell you how to run it."
That must be true of other businesses, too. I heard of a newspaper editor who called in her assistant and handed him a stack of papers. "These are suggestions sent in by subscribers on how to run our paper. Make sure you carry them out," she said.
He did. He carried them out and dropped them in the trash bin.
Many people are quick to suggest, and quicker to criticize. When asked why she was always so critical, one woman said, "I guess I just have a knack for seeing other people"s faults!" (There's a gift she could hide under a bushel.)
CRITICIZERS are not hard to find. What the world needs are ENCOURAGERS. NoT more people to find fault, but people to point out our strengths and encourage us to excel. The most successful people look for positive qualities. They see potential where others see failure and problems. And they encourage success in others.
Mark Twain put it like this: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that! Really great make you feel that you too, can become great."
Who do you spend time with? criticizers -- ENCOURAGERS? Which are you? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Be the person you want others to be.
That must be true of other businesses, too. I heard of a newspaper editor who called in her assistant and handed him a stack of papers. "These are suggestions sent in by subscribers on how to run our paper. Make sure you carry them out," she said.
He did. He carried them out and dropped them in the trash bin.
Many people are quick to suggest, and quicker to criticize. When asked why she was always so critical, one woman said, "I guess I just have a knack for seeing other people"s faults!" (There's a gift she could hide under a bushel.)
CRITICIZERS are not hard to find. What the world needs are ENCOURAGERS. NoT more people to find fault, but people to point out our strengths and encourage us to excel. The most successful people look for positive qualities. They see potential where others see failure and problems. And they encourage success in others.
Mark Twain put it like this: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that! Really great make you feel that you too, can become great."
Who do you spend time with? criticizers -- ENCOURAGERS? Which are you? Surround yourself with those who believe in you. Be the person you want others to be.
Life is too important for anything else!!!!!!
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