I was thinking about having a ring made that said NO REGRETS for all the unhappy folks and the releasing of the guilt (and in little print dpi - denied pertinent information.) I think it was Maya Angelo who said, "if I had known better, I would have done better." Well, so would you if you understood the major significance of the three fs -- family facts first -- and were not denied same. Many a folk claims the (unmedicated bipolar) twin sister is looking after a sick Aunt when its Meet the Faulker Time.
How many people do you hear on their way to the psychiatrist's office or the court house happily say: I'm so glad I married that guy. Love losing the house -- love his big mouth and so do his past employers. Love the crazy kids -- love their home grown pot business and so do the cops . Or love his family -- love the stolen car business and love my Prison Terms RUs. Facts overlooked -- sister said "he has a big mouth just like Dad in prison." Or his Aunt said "you look like a nice girl dear, does your family deal in stolen goods too??"
People are expected to make the first most important life happiness decision, second is house, without requesting the pertinent family baggage. It should be hammered into society like we do with SAY NO TO DRUGS. We should act just like Joe Friday in Dragnet "just the facts maam" and then hire someone to decipher those facts before the meeting of the genitals and the signing of the nuptials.
No instead we listen to the tunes. We sing along to songs like "If we want to be happy for the rest of our life, never make an ugly woman your wife." Yep we are told the happiness depends on the looks. It is impossible at 20, 30 or any age without dropping F BOMBS forever to just go with the looks and forgo the family mental illness and how deep it runs.
FBOMB -- handsome husband who keeps paying his Hells Angels brother's legal fees? FBOMB -- release of story of your silver fox father-in-law's kleptomaniac $3000 lingerie spree at La Senza. Recall -- those were the good looking relatives who were food for fodder when you were dating. You laughed so hard you choked on your fries at Chips Ahoy. Or, you wiped away his tears when his George Hamilton look a like Daddy's legal bill cancelled Xmas with his DUI. Well now they are your relatives too and worse, those genes run through the veins of your kids. FFFFFFFFFFF BOOOOOOOOOOOOMB.
Here's the starting of the insanity!!! In Grade One everyone starts asking little kids if they have picked out a cute little boyfriend/girlfriend ? And all the little girls want the same little handsome Osh Kosh Be Gosh guy. And who bought Osh Kosh Be Gosh his cute little overalls -- family facts first -- his chain smoking Sophia Loren mama who thinks smoking calms her pitbull rage. And she is really ticked today because the caterer left her cake out in the rain because she was only 2 hours late. Yep, that's the underbelly family facts first of little Osh Kosh By Gosh's mama. Stupid and Scary.
And since you have no control over another, you will be doing a dual steering life project, navigating and negotiating with the off spring of Stupid and Scary. And that was only half of Handsome. The George Hamilton Papa -- family facts first -- the OCD king has a hidden wine cellar more extensive than Donald Trump. He sneaks into it not to drink, as he should for the sake of all, but to count and dust each an every bottle. Why, because his personality disease makes him believe having more, makes him feel more. So when you go to a party, he won't be bringing the wine, he will be in your kitchen stuffing them down into his baggy jeans until he looks so endowed you would think his father was an elephant. Or if you tell him you have a wine cellar, Mr. I need more, will be your new best friend -- Mr. Stupid and Stealing. Yep, that's the family facts first of little handsome Osh Kosh By Gosh.
So in summary, here's a suggestion. As a real estate agent, I was expected to take a disclosure statement of the facts on the condition of every house I listed. Purchasing a house is your second big major happiness maker or killer and the government mandates that the buyer provide an accurate disclosure statement - flaws are noted. If you lie you are so sued. Regardless you know what's what with the house or you can send the Seller to the Big House. Let's put it this way, you get a shot at knowing if you are buying a pig in a poke, can pass and smile though your heart is aching. I know you loved the pool but you won't love the sinking basement.
I think the government should, after looking at soaring OHIP bills especially for anti depressants, rehabs, psychiatric hospitals, and police crime coverage, suggest personal disclosure statements. I think in turn our economy would thrive and be an quick incentive to get people to fix their problems. That stealing more to feel more problem would be over pretty dam quick or that fancy wine is now all mine. That addiction would be in remission full time because who wants to hire or date a sex addict, drug addict, or any other kind of addict. And if you lied -- gone all your assets.
I would start a Saneeees Franchise -- a rehab jammed to capacity on every corner with more purpose than a Timmies -- so the personal info statement looked fantastic. My plan to clean up the economy and have heaven on earth.
And for all of you who know me, I'm just an idea away from a billionaire. The fantastic joy of thinking outside the box. And for those of you who are F bombing your way through life, internally wrestling with the guilt of kid stupids, spouse stupids, job stupids,whatever stupids, just get up real close to that mirror each and every chance you get and look into those sad, sad eyes and say "I FORGIVE YOU - NOT GUILTY dpi." You might just see the twinkle back again.
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