Despair!!!

Despair -- it ain't the spare tire in the trunk of the car, its the school system. Home - Economics should be knowing how to fix things to save big money. That would mean TO HELL with the Martha Stewart Course to learn how to make pastry for delicious sausage rolls. Are all females starting a catering service? Pillsbury took care of that big mystery!!!

Our young females should be marched off to HandyWOMAN School and men to Martha Stewart Boot Camp. I think men and women could coexist better and they clearly wouldn't be from Venus and Mars -- they can be comrades instead of carpers. "You didn't fix the leaking faucet will be gone" just as well as "did you wash my socks y- e - t ?"

All females need a tool belt -- a dam mighty fine Prada tool belt -- tangerine leather with western tooling, rhinestones and titanium tools with tangerine matching grips and some decent looking work clothes. That's a million dollar idea -- women's work wear. Can you see the work boots girls?

If a woman can't skillfully handle a jig saw like Loraina Bobbit wheeled her butcher knife, no female is worth her high school diploma. For those mandatory community hours -- off the girls go to a construction site, an auto body shop, a carpentry shop and when she returns home, she can brick the house, repaint her car and build her own dam cabinets plus install the granite countertops. Her income will increase substantially and she too can become a blue collar millionaire. And what else will happen, she will live longer from lack of stress.

Just a tidbit -- really stressed out people shorten their life span by 15%. We all know how men can stress out women. What woman wouldn't get stressed out watching a guy, unhook a wall light fixture? In may case, there remains two little ant holes that can easily be filled with toothpaste (yes I have done that temporarily until I can get around to painting)and without asking you anything, drives his hammer into those holes and creates craters the size of golf balls before I can blink. Men as we know have to impress us with their knowledge and despite what asses they make, must be right and especially in front of women. They want us to feel secure! Hello????

In fact, there are still some women's faces plastered on the back of milk cartons who have not be abducted -- they are with some guy who refuses to stop and ask for directions. The have been circling Northern Ontario for years. Thank God pilots have flight plans and controllers to tell them where to land.

Well back to the reason why we whack the wall with a hammer, well obviously the poly filler needs more depth. Then the men slather the now crater zone with primer. Now those once two little ant hills are the size of large flat screens (and the little ant holes still show) and there never was any matching paint. I think there is a gap in the way men and women think -- so hiring a Handy MAN and not a Handy WOMAN is a problem for women who know what has to be done, but without tool knowledge, doesn't tackle it. And you dare not confront the expert, or you will see a Mantrum like you've never seen.

So I stand in the lane way and gaze up at the curling roof and just shake my head about how the school system has jipped the female population of knowledge and income. The joy of being able to fix your own house -- now that's joy -- THE ROAD TO RICHES. Is that my next move -- start a school to produce HANDYWOMEN -- Class A Handywomen - strap on those tool belt girls!!!

At least when the men know we aren't just pretty faces, but actually know we have the knowledge, they won't be whacking up your drywall with roofing nails instead of drywall screws. Yes I have had that happen -- they were quite shocked -- me a woman who puts on her Merle Norman face every morning -- knows the difference between the roofing nails and drywall screws. Now ain't that something??