The joy of not being famous?

How many of us secretly long to be famous? Don't lie -- we all do!! We envy Oprah's money, her status; maybe not the looks, but it would be wonderful to be rich, rich, rich. How about having people say "yes Miss Winfrey, anything you want Miss Winfrey." What a lovely change that would be for our egos than from the crappy attitude we normally get.

When we ask for a bottle of water (could be the waiter) we get the nod, a deep sigh like you asked for their first born. Or from the loving spouse "okay if I have to," or "ah get off you ass and get it yourself -- I've worked all day too." Or better yet the spouse will fire it from the kitchen to the living room like a 50 yard lateral pass on Grey Cup day. Only problem you don't have the bionic woman ability to leap off your comfy chair, grab the sucker on the fly and do the dance of joy in the end zone when you touch down. What a far cry from the queenly dating days eh?

I don't know if any of you had been awaiting the Oprah interview with Whitney but I was glued to my seat yesterday. I wanted to know why a talented, glamorous woman let herself become such a blatant tabloid jerk. Like movie stars aren't aware the tabloids tell us their dirt? Once the t.v. got fired up, even the dog had orders not to snore or she was out.

As I listened to her tale of the love affair with Bobby Brown and her drugs, she quickly got demoted from woman to teenager. Why? No responsibility - just blame. She wasn't that upset with her drug use on herself, the pain she caused her family, she demolished her career, her front row seat she provided her daughter (we thought the Osbornes were trash) but was majorly angry with his serial cheating.

She often coyly smiled when reminiscing which looks to me like, she enjoyed the ride , would have stayed longer, but Mama came and dragged her home from the party with the Sheriff. And just like a teenager, don't that suck. The things in life that are the worst for the kids are the funnest and even two, spoiled, rich teenager super stars can't play nice in the sandbox and need the law !!! She hesitated to say he was jealous (no doubt threw a rock through her window last night) -- well, who wouldn't be jealous after "I- I - I- I- I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU," doesn't any more. I can hear you all singing kids -- great song to make you even forgive son of your satanic mother-in-law for running over your beloved dog. Anyway who was this Bobby Brown clown before we heard Whitney dated him?

There was also another thing that she commented on that she didn't want Mr. Bobby Brown to fly beneath her wings -- be cold in her shadow or be dubbed Mr. Whitney Houston. I noticed Miss Oprah, nodded in agreement, so I guess power women have to make sure their men don't become the Mrs.

Anyhow, Body Guard super star Whitney, tried to make herself small -- as the back seat wife and mother and let him make the decisions and give the control away to the other teenager. Now how is that ever going to happen with a diva -- she should have done like Celine Dion -- found a fatherly, old dude, nobody to carry her bags,donate the eggs pre chemo, babysit the kid and she remains her ADHD, teenage prima donna self.

So I guess the lesson to this story is if you get big and famous, and have the brain sense of a 13 yr. old, you will be in the Tabloids and if you are not famous, on the Jerry Springer Show. I would just love to have the shirt business on that show -- the shirts come off quicker than Bill Clinton's zipper goes up and down.

Anyhow, I guess there is a real joy for all of us not being famous or born in the back woods -- our passion stays off the tabloids, we dodge Jerry and we can hold up our heads.

In closing, lest we ever forget the old man looking, teenage Prince Charles' message to become his Camilla's tampon. Holy gees how can that guy walk around in public after we know that business and maybe we have the answer why his hair thinned so rapidly. Once he dons the ermine cape on Coronation Day, well I think he achieved his biggest goal -- a tampon. And we don't need to go into the adolescent, paranoid Jacksons now do we except after seeing Latoya on Barbara Walters, round up the troops, she needs serious help hunting down the killers of her brother. Is this a crazy world or not??

So a new joy to add to my list -- The joy of not being famous with the brain sense of a teenager or having to work for them. Enjoy the day!! We'll see how Whitney stacks up tomorrow!!!