It was always on my mind?

I know, I know, the song is it's You Were Always On My Mind by Kenny Rogers, but I'm talking about sex with the Who -- whomever the who is -- in prison or otherwise. You've heard of conjugal visits - right? Even the system recognize the prisoners need sex -- it keeps the rioting down. Hello - the public pays for the bad kids to get sex too.

I don't know if it is the Whitney story recently but here are my thoughts on sex. Whitney would take Bobby back in a New York minute if he wasn't a cheating dog because the sex was fantastico . They had the vibes -- the touch -- the chemistry and she don't look too happy without it and him sharing it around. Ever seen the movie Same Time Next Year -- they had the sizzle.

I was a product of the sixties where the mother and father swore on the bible they were not having sex -- and their direction -- "nor should we partake." FYI we found out the parents were liars, big fat liars. Ah hell, you can see the scratch marks on the hardwood where they frantically pushed those twin beds together.

Well after that parent scare-a-thon, the 80s brought us Madonna and when she did her little sexual stunts on stage, all modesty blew out the window. I had to hide my kid's eyes. She was a blast of sex. Mothers immediately said novenas and cringed at the thought their son's might bring home a boot wearing, whip snapping, in your face sex crazed chick called Madonna? Isn't that a sacrilege to the Catholic Church to call a dominatrix Madonna? And do tell me about Michael Jackson's contribution to sex, isn't the sequined glove and gold chastity belt the result of too much crotch grabbing?

And now in 2009, as I gear up tonight for So You Think You Can Dance, the show will be a bomb unless the dancers will be gyrating on top of one another and getting crotch shots of some chick in their faces. The judges are sweating and it isn't from the bright lights.

Well back to the world of sex. As a teen, I used to think after your teens, once you got the sexual highs out of your system, life became normal. By normal I mean you coasted sexually and respectably to the back page of the paper -- surrounded by 20 grandchildren wishing you another 50 years of marital bliss minus sex. Wouldn't that make you 120?

Well apparently there are going to be fewer of those anniversary pictures. It is not uncommon today to hear Grandpas jumping the marital fence taking only the clothes on their back and clutching the Viagra prescription in a death grip. Some young chick is gunning his new Corvette parked around the corner and they are Tijuana bound. You think I'm kidding, well I'm not -- heard a case recently. And what is Grandma doing -- reeling over from the shock no doubt that Grandpa still can and wants to wave the magic wand. Now any of us that have a brain cell ticking know, Grandpa is also packing the Gold Card. He also has enough air miles to take you from here to hell and back many times over from buying the Blood Pressure medication. However, he is going for one last kick at the can and when he comes squealing into the Pearly Gates, he wants it with a smile on his face as big as Hugh Hefner's -- smiles that last from lust. Grandmas are thinking about donning the leather and becoming cougars. What a sexual revolution!!!!

So where am I going with all this? Ladies we were lied to -- sex is not an accessory, it's the necessary little black dress. Women were not told even if you can't walk, no time to exercise, a good tumble can get the heart rate up to 130 beats per minute. A 120 lb. woman can burn 4 extra calories per minute -- keep going and you can eat as much cheese cake as you want. The lovely endorphins (not dolphins) increase your well being. You sleep deeper and relax better. And the biggie, improves blood flow to the skin which makes it more vibrant, supple and healthy. Your aura, the inner glow makes you look and feel younger -- do the research lady. Now what do you think of them there facts?

So ladies -- rethink sex. Its not a bargaining tool, a threat, a bone you throw out on Xmas or Birthdays, its a gift to you for your well being. And as for your bod - men are not as concerned as you think. You don't need to take the belly dance lessons, order the stripper pole and while you are putting that 10 watt bulb in the lamp shade to camouflage your thighs, wrinkles and rolls, you might as well put that lampshade over your head -- they don't see what you think they see!!! They want quantity not quality. Now on the other hand there's a big push towards women loving women, then you might have to rethink the 10 watt bulb.

The joy of sex -- ladies -- ladies -- get on the program and power up that aura menopause or not, 60, 70 or not. Its the glue between the bricks and you may think its a gift to lose Grandpa at 72 1/2 but not half the assets. See First Wives Club for reading research on life without assets.

Regardless, sex is good for you. I know I hear you -- don't feel like it ladies, but you will. Its like riding a bicycle, a tandem bicycle. You never forget and once you just start peddling, its a great ride.